katenok: (Default)
* Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* I would not allow this employee to breed.
* This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.
* Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.Read more... )
katenok: (Default)

English writer, and presenter of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson is well known for his tongue, but what are some of his best lines?

This via email so I don’t know the source, but Top Gear fans will enjoy them.

“I’m sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.”

“… the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany ”
Read more... )

katenok: (Default)
Срач дома это как монстр под кроватью, если на него не обращать внимания - он перестаёт пугать.

katenok: (Default)
Вчера проторчала в универе 16 часов - с 10 утра до 2 ночи. Сегодня пришла в 10 и все ещё здесь. Конец семестра, млин...

когда-нибудь все это закончится вот так... )
katenok: (Default)
Jim is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Jim was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jim and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jim replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. Choose the positive side of life.
Yeah, right, it's not that easy, I protested. "Yes, it is," Jim said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what Jim said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jim was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jim was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Jim about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter," Jim replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Jim continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jim.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything.
"Yes, I replied." The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jim lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
You know the choice I made.
Enjoy each day, each breath and mostly---each and every friend!
katenok: (Default)
A man with a huge cock )
Подсмотренно у [livejournal.com profile] ilyavinarsky
katenok: (Default)
1) У трех трактористов есть брат Сергей, а у Сергея братьев нет.
Может ли такое быть?
Да, если трактористы - женщины, либо речь о разных Сергеях.

2) В комнате горело 50 свечей, 20 из них задули. Сколько
Останется 20: задутые свечи не сгорят полностью.

3) Если в 12 часов ночи идет дождь, то можно ли ожидать, что через
72 часа будет солнечная погода?
Нет, - через 72 часа будет снова полночь.

katenok: (Default)
Шел я как-то через лес,
За спиной висел обрез,
Под фуфайкой две гранаты,
Автомат наперевес...
Шел, как видим, налегке.
С пачкой денег в кулаке
И с бидоном самогона
В полинявшем рюкзаке.
Осторожно, ненормативная лексика )
katenok: (Default)
вот здесь )
Никто не знает, что это за существо?
katenok: (Default)
В американских ВВС пилоты и механики часто общаются через записи в бортжурнале. После полета пилот записывает обнаруженные неисправности, механик реагирует на них и делает запись о проделанной работе. Иногда это выглядит примерно так...

Запрос: Левое внутреннее колесо основного шасси почти требует замены.
Ответ: Левое внутреннее колесо основного шасси почти заменено.
Read more... )
katenok: (Default)
Девушки - зло. А вот вам доказательство.


katenok: (Default)

April 2011

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