katenok: (Default)
* Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* I would not allow this employee to breed.
* This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.
* Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.Read more... )
katenok: (Default)


English writer, and presenter of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson is well known for his tongue, but what are some of his best lines?

This via email so I don’t know the source, but Top Gear fans will enjoy them.

“I’m sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.”

“… the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany ”
Read more... )

http://www.inquisitr.com/2783/the-best-jeremy-clarkson-quotes/
katenok: (Default)
Jim is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Jim was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jim and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jim replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. Choose the positive side of life.
Yeah, right, it's not that easy, I protested. "Yes, it is," Jim said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what Jim said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jim was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jim was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Jim about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter," Jim replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Jim continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jim.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything.
"Yes, I replied." The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jim lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
You know the choice I made.
Enjoy each day, each breath and mostly---each and every friend!
katenok: (Default)
Nice quiz from [livejournal.com profile] jaybhairavi

01. The physical feature for which you are most often complimented: hair

02. A place where you have always wanted to fool around: Moscow

03. A strange place where you have fooled around: my home

04. An unfulfilled sexual fantasy: none

05. A fragrance that reminds you of someone you have been intimate with: none

06. You feel most attractive when: in love

07. A fantastic kisser you have known: my boyfriend

08. The worst kisser you have ever kissed: my boyfriend

09. Profession: Not yet :) I am going to be a computer programmer

10. Height: 1.54

11. A smell that makes you pause: apples

12. A taste that makes you melt: mushrooms

13. A city you'd like to visit: Dublin

14.A country you'd like to explore: Ireland

15. A drink you order most often: tea

16. The music you prefer while alone: silence

18. A TV show you watch regularly: I don't have (and don't need) TV. It's a waiste of time.

19. A monument you would like to have a view of from your room: I would prefer a 100-year-old tree

20. Your favorite time of the day: Evening

21. If your house was burning and you could only save one thing: myself

22. Your most recent lie: is in this quiz :)

23. One thing in this world you are addicted to: apples

24. You have read someone's diary or gone through their personal possessions without asking? No

25. Have you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: I'm afraid yes, but I do my best to avoid it.

26. Have you apologized? Only when I believed that I was wrong

25. Do you believe in God? no

28. What religion were you raised with: atheism

29. Do you still practice this religion: yes

30. How you picture the end of the world: Stephen King described it in "The Stand"

31. Does life exist on other planets? maybe

32. Have you ever been treated by a psychotherapist: yes. In the army. He wrote that being away from home willbe harmful for me, so every evening I could go home. It was the only thing I wanted from him.

33. Three qualities you look for in a friend: intellegence, sense of humour, good taste
katenok: (Default)
There are two types of individuals who can suffer from Exhaustive
Programming Disorder, and they lie at the two opposite ends of the spectrum
of people who make computers work.

The first is the obsessive hacker, coding (and maybe noding) through the
night and on into the early hours of the morning, fuelled by the obligatory
diet of Coke, caffeine or nicotine. This kind of EPD sufferer labours away
in front of his screen for love, for the sheer pleasure that comes from
altering *this* line just so, tweaking that function like that, and
ultimately producing a product that millions will find useful.

The other EPD sufferer is probably far more common. It is the corporate
software engineer, stuck in his cubicle, trying to iron out the latest bugs
in the mass-market, high-cost product that the marketing droids promised
would be shipping last Tuesday. Possibly also fuelled by the same
combination of junk food and cigarettes, this person's motivation is not
pride in his work, or pleasure, or a will to do good for the community, but
motivated instead by fear of unemployment, bankruptcy and homelessness.

If you think you're moving towards the wrong end, it's time to bail out.

Take it easy ;-)
katenok: (Default)
40-ish.....................49
Adventurer..........Slept with all your friends
Athletic.......................No tits
Average looking.......Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...................Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure.......Medicated
Feminist.................... Ugly ball buster
Free spirit.................Junkie
Friendship first.........Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.............................Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age..............All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet....................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..............Certified Bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Romantic............Looks better by candle light
Social.........Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Wants Soulmate........Stalker
Widow.......Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............Old bat
katenok: (Default)
Осторожно! оно на английском и матерное!

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